Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
