JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
