Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
