umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
