what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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