I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
