I forgot how hot balto sounded
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
