I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
