some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
