That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
