Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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