Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
