Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
