I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
