so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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