Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
