Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
