You work out of a Hotel?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
