you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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