i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
