all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
