Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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