I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
