i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she smelled like a LAN party
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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