I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize