and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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