Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
