why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
