You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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