idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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