Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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