At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
