I can tuck mytits in my pants
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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