So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
