I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
