I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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