Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
