i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
