Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
