hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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