It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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