Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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