So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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