You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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