My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Terrible idea I love it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
