Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bring money and cleavage
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
