What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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