I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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