I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it's like iHOP with fire
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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