You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
